we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
