I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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