I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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