"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
