I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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