he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
