The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
