i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
