Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
