Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
