he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
