I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
