I'm gonna have a badass scar
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
