Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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