Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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