We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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