This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
