she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
