Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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