Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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