I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
