hotel room ftw
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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