Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
