My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
porn star boner night. come get it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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