Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
