you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
