Sacagawea was the original milf.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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