Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
