Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
