i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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