I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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