This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
