I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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