I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
