2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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