My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
