I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's blow job season.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
