see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
