Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
