Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
