come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
