you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
