so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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