im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
