she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
