That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
