You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
