Barsexuality is the new black.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
