im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
