So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
