I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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