I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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